Love is ...

My boyfriend, Chris, and I were talking recently about the pleasantries that people exchange when they part company. He expressed some discomfort that one person of our mutual acquaintance has taken to saying, "I love you" in such circumstances, though he had know this person for a relatively short amount of time and had spent little if any time with her one-on-one. It's important to note that there is no romantic interest between Chris and this person and other factors make the unlikelihood that they would be come so involved stratospheric.

I've found myself in similar circumstances. Friends whom I've known for a long time and whose company I greatly enjoy, even my stylist (who has become a personal friend), have taken up the habit of attaching an "I love you" to "goodbye". Hearing this proclamation from someone who isn't my inamorata or a member of my immediate family leaves me perplexed, at a loss for words, and unsure about how to respond. Should I just say "I love you" back to placate the person, though I'd feel dishonest? But, I might not love them; at least not in the way that I mean "I love you" when I say it to someone. Should I respond with a sincere, but maybe underwhelming, "Aww! Thank you!", that might hurt their feelings or offend them?

When friends tell me that they love me in the disarming way that I describe above, I believe that they mean that they are fond of me, that they enjoy my company, that they want for me to go on my way safely, and that they are generally concerned for my welfare. By contrast, when I say "I love you" to someone, I mean that they are an important and likely permanent part of my life; that I enjoy their company and palpably feel their absence when we're apart; that I'm concerned about their state of mind, body, and spirit to the point of empathy -- when they are sad, I'm sad, too, not for whatever reason has caused their sadness, but because their sadness itself makes me sad; likewise, I actively delight in their happiness. Furthermore, as Chris pointed out, "[love is not circumstantial]." His point was that events such as a garden-variety disagreement or even divorce don't stop genuine love. When he was married, his in-laws regularly proclaimed that they loved him, but after he divorced, their contempt for him was evident. "[I wouldn't say that they ever really loved me, at least not in the way that I mean it when I say it.]"

I have consciously avoided using the word "gratuitous" in describing the way that some friends use the phrase "I love you". Something so precious, healing, and uplifting could never be applied gratuitously or too liberally. I think that Chris and I just share an opinion of what it means to tell someone that you love them and it is a deep and profound meaning, indeed. :J

Campbell = Yes

I received today a letter from the Campbell Law admissions office extending to me an offer of admission for the Fall 2007 entering class! Yay!

Campbell Law is located in Buies Creek NC, 30 miles equidistant from Raleigh and Fayetteville. Their focus is educating lawyers for hometown practice in NC and they do their job very well -- their bar exam pass rate is regularly at the top of the scale, around 97% and 100% in some years. Campbell University is affiliated with the NC Southern Baptist State Convention; they established the Norman Adrian Wiggins School of Law in 1975. Their Alumni include Elaine Marshall, NC Secretary of State; Ann Marie Calabria, NC Court of Appeals; a friend of mine from undergrad; and the attorney that has handled personal litigation for my family.

I applied to Campbell Law on a lark because I had a fee waiver and Mamaw had pestered me to do so. What had I to lose? Very little. Shortly after I'd applied, I had a pleasant phone interview with James McLaughlin (professor of estate law) that went very well and, what do you know, I'm in! I'm pleased by this because, once again, it's affirming, but also because I now have options. Campbell's mission is in line with my goals, since I plan to remain and practice in North Carolina, and their high bar exam passage rate is certainly a point to their credit.

So, I'm two for two at this point with five schools yet to weigh in. Surely, word of my popularity will now spread and the other law schools will now be clamoring to my mailbox! :J

Life Update

Since completing my law school applications, I've spent a good bit of the past month gloriously vegetating at the computer, playing spider solitaire. (With four suits, nonetheless!) I figure that I deserve the break.

It's not all been fun and games, though. With applications out of the way, other projects have risen to the surface of the priority pool, but working on them has been a boon rather than something to bemoan. As I've made headway on projects at work and at home, my attitude and my outlook have improved. I had been quite frustrated at my slow progress in painting the trim in the master bedroom, so I finally inflicted the task on my handywomon for a few days. Thusly jump-started, I was able to tackle the rest of the project myself and have been gleefully taking down the blue tape that has lined the windows and doors for nearly six months. More home improvement projects await, of course, along with tax forms and law school financial aid applications. I'm also sitting-in on a civil liberties class, have visited a few law schools (UNC Chapel Hill, Wake Forest, and Elon), and have been helping out someone who's recovering from surgery.

Mum and Mamaw visited a few days ago. Mum proudly showed off her new car and I got to drive it around a bit as we had lunch and shopped. Mamaw bought me a vacuum cleaner as an early birthday gift and my rugs have been singing her praises ever since.

So, I've saved the best bit for last. I received a large envelope from Elon Law a couple of weeks ago. I opened it with great anticipation and found inside a pack of forms with a cover letter congratulating me on my admission! Yay! While also validating, it means that I do have a choice of what path my life will take later this year and well beyond. :J