Studying. Estudiando.

Sitting shirtless at my computer, working feverishly, and dripping sweat. A cup of strong, black coffee at hand. Birds singing raucously outside. Sunlight streaming through the window. Suddenly, I am transported back to Madrid.

Me siento en frente de mi ordenador, sin camisa, trabajando locamente. El sudor corre por la espalda y se gotea de las piernas. Una taza de cafe muy fuerte está lista para el trago ocasional. Afuera, los pájaros cantan ruidosamente. Los rayos de sol entran por la ventana abierta y rebotan por mi habitación. De repente, en mi espíritu, me traslado otra vez a Madrid.

Life in Ruin

Ruin is the road to transformation.
Were we not occasionally to find our lives in shambles,
We would become far too comfortable in mediocre existence
To desperately take the chances that otherwise seem like lunacy,
But are in fact the means by which we grow,
The very oxygen that our minds breathe,
The very food by which our souls nourish themselves.

Glass

El amor es difícil porque las emociones humanas son como el vidrio -- son delicadas, pero también se pueden cortar.

My spontaneous response when asked to write a thought about love at the beginning of Note to Self, a student production in UF's theatre department that consisted of monologues of the actors' varied experiences with love and relationships, which note then joined the hundreds of others on the studio wall that had been collected during the piece's run.

Translated:

Love is difficult because human emotions are like glass -- they're delicate, but they can also cut.

Thoughts in Yoga

For the heart to beat requires no thought.
For the lungs to breathe requires no thought.
To be requires no thought.

Thoughts come into and go out from the mind.
Let them go.
Be.

People come into and go out from the heart.
Let them go.
Be.

Objects come into and go out from one's presence.
Let them go.
Be.

Let go.
Let go and be.

Inspired by my instructor, Jenne, whose words are paraphrased in the first two lines.

Summertime, and the livin’ is ... easy?

Summer has been an emotional time for me for the past few years and the trend shows no sign of abating.

In the summer of 2007, I sold the historic bungalow that I had come to treasure as my home. I ruminated over whether I was doing the right thing to shed the responsibilities that come with home-ownership ahead of enrolling in law school, but when the time came to sign on the dotted line, I was ready.

I spent the rest of that summer tolerating my job and counting down the days until I could leave it behind and enroll in law school. Inasmuch as my job was something to be tolerated at that point, leaving was bitter-sweet event, to be sure. I had many wonderful memories of some colleagues and unbelievable stories about others, as anyone would after eighteen years in one place. My work had provided me with many opportunities for which I’m grateful. For better or for worse, however, when I left, the organizational culture had been undergoing a shift and I'd gone from being an insider looking out to an outsider looking in. When it came time for me to go, I was ready.

In the summer of 2008, I realized a years-long dream and enrolled in a summer study-abroad course in Spain. For two weeks after arriving in Madrid, I felt nothing but giddiness. After that, the one-two punch of being away from the Boyfriend whom I loved and of living in a foreign country where every day presented a new challenge, puzzle, or frustration hit me. I found some comfort in the romantic attentions of a handsome man whose acquaintance I made while in Madrid, but that brought with it more emotional turmoil. Every day was a cycle of missing the Boyfriend in the US, looking forward to going out with Madrid Man, feeling very much at home in Europe, and longing to be regarded by people in the street as something other than just another American tourist. I reveled in weekend trips to visit friends in France and Italy, which were emotional experiences of their own, and longed to stay in Europe, but when it came time to go home, I was ready.

After I returned to the US, my Boyfriend proposed to me on a weekend leave from his temporary work assignment in Maryland; we deepened our promises to one another and called ourselves married. Our newly-wedded bliss was short-lived, as he returned to Maryland and I temporarily installed myself with my grandparents in the small town where I grew up. By day, I interned for a district attorney and loved learning about criminal law. By night, I struggled with a paper that I was writing for school, missed my Boyfriend-Turned-Husband, fretted over how to disclose Madrid Man to him, and debated the nature of my recent nuptials with my grandmother. In the interstices, I renewed my relationship with my grandparents, who entertained me with their own antics and their doting over my dog.

In the summer of 2009, I went to Beijing for five weeks. I didn't pick up a romantic interest in Beijing, which made some things easier and some things harder, no pun intended. My emotional experience was otherwise similar to that of Madrid -- life in a foreign country can be grinding, regardless of how eager you are for the experience. Even now, however, I get nostalgic for both Madrid and Beijing.

I spent the second half of the summer in Charlotte, living with a close friend whom I've known for years and working for the public defender. Both experiences were fulfilling and edifying. I treasured both the quality time spent with my roommate, as well as his generous hospitality, and the experiences that I had at work, with an equally warm and generous cohort of colleagues. I found a career that I could do after law school, do well, and enjoy.

By the time the summer of 2010 came around, my Boyfriend-Turned-Husband and I had come to an impasse and amicably released one another from our vows. The summer started with a bang – law school graduation and my birthday on the same weekend! I was on an emotional high not only because of the events that were transpiring, but also because the guy that I had then been dating for a few weeks went out of his way to celebrate my accomplishments with me. This was tempered only slightly by the fact that, during many of my graduation festivities, my mother and father were in the same building together that wasn't a courthouse for the first time in perhaps thirty years. I was able to let go of my anxiety and let adults do as they would and, of course, everything turned out fine. I owe a big thank-you to my mom’s boyfriend for being instrumental in making everything go smoothly, to my family for rising to the occasion and being so proud of me, to Dating Man for generally making me feel special, and to my ex-Boyfriend-Turned-Husband for his support and understanding throughout law school.

As the current summer wears on, I top one emotional hill only to see more hills and valleys undulate infinitely toward the horizon. In my bar exam prep course, an "exceeds standard" mark on a practice essay one day gives way to "needs significant review" feedback on practice multiple choice questions; the next day, they invert themselves. My plans with Dating Man were cancelled one recent evening when his father fell ill; it was to be the last time that his father would fall ill. I struggled with whether I take time away from studying to go the funeral in an unfamiliar town hours away. I discussed the matter with a friend, ran through a cost-benefit analysis, analyzed the ramifications of each decision, made a rational decision not to go, and then went anyhow. It was SO worth it! I saw Dating Man in a new light. I think that we established a new connection, and my presence seemed to fulfill an emotional need in both of us.

As I type this, I feel like I'm in some sort of purgatory. I'm staying in Elon and studying for the bar exam for the entire summer, as if I've embarked on some sort of monastic vocation. To some extent, it hearkens back to Madrid and Beijing -- being unsure of what to do with myself in unfamiliar surroundings and having no one at hand to commandeer as an accomplice. This is the common thread runs through this summer and the three before it.

My ex-Boyfriend-Turned-Husband is caring for my dog and I return to Greensboro each weekend to give him a chance to visit family and friends out of town. I'm enjoying living in my own space during the week and don’t mind spending my weekends in Greensboro, but the transition between the two locales is emotionally draining. During the week, I feel independent and engaged in important self-actualization, but the weekends snap me back into an emotional spot that I didn't realize I was in and couldn't appreciate leaving until I'd gone back to it.

The fall lurks before me and my plans for that time are still unsettled. On the one hand, I look forward to finding a new routine in my own space. On the other hand, my summers have become times of profound feeling and thinking, of growth, and of enrichment. Maybe I should just move to Florida so I can experience summer year-'round!

Note to Self

Almost three years ago, I embarked on an incredible voyage of learning when I entered law school. As I looked forward to the experience that then lay before me, I imagined that I would learn something about myself as well as something about the law and, indeed, I did. Anticipating such an outcome, our professor, Steve Friedland, had each of us in my class write a letter from ourselves in orientation to ourselves at graduation. August 2007 Justin wrote the following to May 2010 Justin:

Dear Justin,

Congratulations! You've made it through what would appear from this end to be three of the most challenging years of your life!

What do the past three years look like from where you are now? From here, they are nebulous, expansive, and overwhelming. I'm unsure if I'm up to the challenge, if I'll be able to give my best all of the way through. What friendships that I'm now making will survive? What new friendships will I make? I've already formed opinions about many of my classmates; how will those change?

When I first walked in the doors here, I had notions of forming an investing club, an LGBT legal issues group (out of which might even grow a law review journal), and even had the notion that I'd introduce a motion to rename the SBA to the Litigating Christians. But right now, just after orientation and boot camp, at the threshold of my actual 1L classes, I wonder how much of that, if any, I'll have time to do. I wonder how much of [it] I'll feel free to do; I already see cliques forming among my classmates and see at work the same social pressures that I felt in high school.

I wonder, too, what will become of my relationship with Chris, given the time commitment that I fear law school will require me to make. We briefly discussed the matter yesterday after church, when I asked him how he felt when he was in seminary and was the one who had such demands on this time. He said that he just did it; that he and [his ex-spouse] had made the decision for him to enter into this and he was going to do the best that he could. He busied himself all afternoon reading, cleaning, baking, folding a load of laundry that I'd brought to his place, and ordering diner in. Later, when I'd been studying on his sofa for eight or nine hours, I felt my GERD flaring up and he went to the grocery store to fetch medicine for me. I do need to dispose of this guilt somehow so that I feel free to do my best without being distracted too much with thoughts of what I'm neglecting.

I hope that I graduate in the top third of my class. Did I? I hope that I'm able to join law review or become involved in at least one student organization in which I can demonstrate my abilities. I hope that I will be able to go to Madrid in summer 2008 and engage in some law-oriented work for the remainder of that summer (in Europe?). I hope that I get a good internship with a desirable firm in NC, preferably Raleigh or Greensboro, Asheville or Wilmington, or even Charlotte, which has charmed me on recent visits. (Remember whitewater rafting with Chris, Jenny, and the Debbies; Harry Potter with Chris, Christopher, Vanessa, and Josh?)

Donna's mom, Jan, is recovering from cancer surgery and Papaw has recently learned that he needs a heart valve replacement. I wonder how these situations will play out and how I might be called on to balance school and family life.

All of this and more will be known by the time that I read this letter again. Hopefully, this letter will help me to reflect on what I've accomplished and give me strength to face the bar review and exam with confidence and determination. After that? Well, who cares!? I'll have passed the bar exam! From that point, I can accomplish anything that I wish!

Best to you, future self!

Love, Justin

I remember thinking, when I wrote this letter, that I had high hopes for my academic achievement, but that I also wanted to set realistic expectations for myself. I didn't get on law review or moot court, due to a variety of SNAFUs that had nothing to do with my academic ability. I did, indeed, graduate in the top third of my class and exceeded the expectations that I memorialized in this writing, actually performing more in line with the expectations that I kept unwritten. I did form OutLaw, a social/educational organization for LGBT and allied law students. Although I am known for my puckish sense of humor, I never did pay homage to Elon's former mascot by proposing that we rename our SBA to the Litigating Christians. (Elon changed its mascot from the Fighting Christians to the Phoenix at about the same time that it transformed itself from a college to a university around 2000.) I did go to Madrid (and Beijing the next year) and accepted legal internships in both summers, including one in Charlotte during my second summer.

I am still friends and friendly with the same folks with whom I began developing those relationships during orientation. The depth and breadth of those and other relationships developed naturally over the three years of school. Those to whom I was friendly were and still are friendly in return; those to whom I was civil were and still are civil in return. I don't feel rejected by any of the folks with whom I graduated.

My relationship with Chris did undergo a radical change during law school. The change didn't have so much to do with law school itself; he was always very understanding of my need to devote time to my studies and I think that I struck a good balance between spending time with my books and with my spouse. Our break-up was about the path that I am travelling, on which law school was a vehicle. Our paths were parallel for a while and we enjoyed that time a great deal. When it became clear that our paths would diverge, we dealt with the inevitable as best as we could and set each other free.

Jan continues to fight and to survive and travelled from Kansas to North Carolina to visit friends and family at Christmas. Papaw has since had two heart surgeries and is doing well in that arena, though other health challenges have emerged.

This process of learning and growing isn't over yet. This summer and even the coming year promise many more challenges as well as opportunities. All I can do is stay positive, expect from the universe the goodness that I know that I deserve, and do something every day to move me closer to my goals.

"He's at the forty, the thirty, the twenty ... score!"

Ni hao!

Greetings from Beijing, where I'm doing another study-abroad. I'm at the Law School of Renmin University of China, studying Chinese business law through a program sponsored by Indiana U/Purdue U-Indianapolis. I arrived on 20 May and will be abroad until 30 June.

Unfortunately, I can't access my blog from China, except through Elon's VPN, which is a bit of a cumbersome process. Never fear, though! I've been keeping a blog/journal by posting notes on my Facebook profile, so have a look over there. As always, photos are on Flickr, at the following URL.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jrervin/

Huitou jian!

Juxtaposition du jour

The following is the actual title and subtitle of an item in the Monthly Update that I receive today in e-mail from the American Bar Association Law Student Division.

Commission on Homelessness and Poverty
Welcome Law Students

What a great Friday chuckle! :J

Lay (off) the guy already!

Since John Edward's extra-marital affair was revealed some weeks ago, he has endured much criticism -- anew from critics and afresh from former allies. I thought the whole discussion tacky and irrelevant and tried to ignore the whole controversy. However, I will remain silent no longer now that Elizabeth Edwards, wife of the former Tarheel Senator, is suffering criticism for what's described has her "complicity" in the cover-up of the affair from the time John confessed it to her in 2006 until it hit the fan this year. (See this article in the 26 August 2008 edition of the Raleigh News and Observer.)

Enough, already! This whole business is not worthy of discussion! Edward's affair has no relevance in the political sphere. The fact that this man was unfaithful to his wife is the business of no one but the people directly involved -- John, Elizabeth, Rielle Hunter, and their immediate families. We, the general public, have no business delving into such matters.

"But he deceived us!" "We believed in him!" "We thought he was such a good man!" So what if he lied! Given all of this reaction, wouldn't you have? It's not like he stole money and lied about it. It's not like he was actively questioned about an affair in front of Congress and actively lied about it! (Don't get me started on the Clinton-Lewinsky debacle.) If one believed in Edwards' political message before news of the affair came to light, why shouldn't one believe in it now? If Edwards was a good man before, he still is. The point is that he's a man -- a human -- like all of us. :J

The Mother-in-Law

No, not mine... his. With marriage comes in-laws and all of the stereotypical baggage that that relationship implicates. In this case, things have gotten off to a good start, as my Mum left a quite positive comment on the entry in Chris' blog about our marriage. It made me very happy and very proud to read it! :J

Believe It or Not!

I can’t believe that I spent nearly two months in Spain and wrote only one entry for this blog. It’s true that I was busy enough experiencing living in a foreign country and documenting that experience through photos, not to mention the commitment required for my two Spanish courses in Madrid and the independent study that I’m doing for law school! It took a couple of weeks to adjust emotionally and physically to being abroad. It was quite an adventure living in a cosmopolitan city of six million people in a foreign country where I had to use my foreign language skills on a daily an hourly basis to survive. In the end, I not only survived, but flourished, and came to love my temporary home! I made many wonderful friends of classmates, my señora and her family, and other madrileños. I learned a great deal about myself, too, by finding the assertive part of myself, by pushing the limits of my tolerance for daily annoyances, by pressing myself to persevere in difficult tasks, and by stretching to communicate with people with a completely different perspective and approach than I.

I can’t believe that I finally met Enrico, my Italian pen-friend of seventeen years! After my Spanish courses ended, I flew to Italy and spent a few days in Modena getting to know Enrico, his family, and his hometown. After Italy, I went to France to spend a long weekend with friends who live south of Lyon, near Montélimar; they live in a fairy tale – a medieval village with a castle towering over and surrounded by mountains and vineyards. In both France and Italy I had to pull out and dust off my French in order to talk with my friends, find my way about, and get along in daily life.

I can’t believe that I’m already back in the States and working in my internship in the District Attorney’s office and living with my grandparents. Pepper and I have installed ourselves in Rockingham with Mamaw and Papaw. I awaken early, put on a suit, and head to the courthouse, where I observe in court and do research to help the prosecutors to prepare for upcoming cases. Deputies, jurors, defendants, defense counsel, and even judges have all addressed me as if I were already a lawyer; at least I look the part!

I can’t believe that on 4 July, the day after I returned from Spain, Chris, my boyfriend of two-and-a-half years, proposed to me over lunch in the restaurant where we rekindled the friendship that we initiated fifteen years ago. I was dumbfounded and couldn’t speak for a moment, but I eventually gathered enough wits to accept! After some discussion of what to do next (set a date for a ceremony, elope, plan a reception), we went on to purchase the rings that we’d chosen before I went to Spain, said vows to one another in private, and are now married – husband and husband. Chris wrote about this event in his blog far more eloquently than I did here!

I can’t believe what an amazing man I have in my life. Chris is intelligent (especially so in ways that I’m not), gifted in dealing with children, a great cook, disarmingly handsome, a gentle lover, and has a seemingly unending capacity to love. He is a good friend, was a great boyfriend, and will certainly be a wonderful husband and father.

I can’t believe the reactions of our families. Chris’ family comes from a religious background, but most of them root their faith in love and choose to express that emotion over others. Chris’ sister voiced her delight at the prospect of my being her brother-in-law several weeks ago. Chris sat down with his parents just a couple of days after our exchange of rings and was pleasantly surprised by their reaction and their willingness to engage in dialogue. My own mother expressed unabashed pleasure at the news, exclaiming “You picked a good one!” My dad was surprised at the quick turn of events, but was delighted and wished us much happiness. My grandmother was also caught off-guard by the surprise news and I was caught equally off-guard by her reaction. My mother had apparently told her that someone had gotten married and that she should phone me for details; she did and when I revealed the newlyweds’ identity, I was met with silence. When I saw her in person the next day, a disrespectful comment on her part resulted in a confrontation between us which ended only with ruffled feathers being smoothed, rather than any meeting of the minds, or, for that matter, any congratulations.

Having covered what I can’t believe, you might be wondering what I can believe. I can and do believe that life is a series of challenges to which we must rise and that the greatest injustice that we can commit against ourselves is to think that we aren’t good enough to achieve great things or that we don’t deserve to have great things happen to us. :J

Madrid 1: Journey and Arrival

After a whirlwind of studying, exams that felt like one punch after another, and seeing to countless details, I boarded a plane at noon EDT on Thursday and headed for Madrid. Despite connections in Detroit and Amsterdam, the trip felt short. Heck, after that 19-hour flight to Manila, almost any non-inter-planetary trip would feel short!

Dutch security tried to throw a monkey-wrench into my travel plans. I was trotting through the terminal of Schiphol airport, following the signs to the gate for the final leg of my trip when -- Bam! -- I ran right into a crowd of people sifting VERY slowly through passport control and customs. I stood in one line for about ten minutes without moving before deciding to head over to the "quick connections" line. Despite its name, it wasn't moving much faster than the other lines. Tempers flared. People shouted at the Passport agents in French and Dutch and with Australian, British, and totally foreign accents that they were missing their connections. I was in danger of missing my own connection! I watched as flights leaving at the same time as mine showed "boarding" and then "gate closing". I tried to not panic. At the x-ray belt, people flung things trough, disregarding admonishments to remove liquids, gels, shoes, belts, laptops, etc. I grabbed my bags and started to run as I fed my belt through the loops on my pants, then stopped short, realizing that I'd left my wallet, passport, and onward ticket at the x-ray! I dropped my bags right there in the middle of the airport and went back for my other things! Granted, it was only about 15 feet, but in the pressing crowd, Jimmy Hoffa could've disappeared.

I did make it to my flight to Madrid. As I approached the gate, I heard my name announced over the public address system. The gate agents and flight crew were very friendly and welcomed me warmly; they expressed genuine concern that I had to rush and told me to relax on the flight and let them take care of me. No problem! KLM treated us all well with good food and extremely friendly staff, so the flight from Amsterdam to Madrid was awesome. There was no passport control or customs to speak of in Madrid; I just walked past a lone Guardia Civil that ignored me. Cash. Change. Phone call ("Hola, Marlí ¡he llegado!"). Taxi. Apartment. Exhale. Relief!

I have eaten and slept a good bit since my arrival this morning. I was hoping to lose some weight in Madrid with all of the extra walking and none of the fast food, but if my señora keeps feeding me like this, those hopes will be dashed. I have already had a pan-fried chicken breast with garlic, green salad, and a huge tortilla. Of course, a Spanish tortilla is what we'd call an omelette -- chopped potatoes and onions mixed with a few eggs and baked on the stovetop in a pan so that it looks a bit like a stout cake of cornbread. Yum!

I have taken some photos of the apartment where I'm staying, as well as the little bit of Madrid that I can see from my windows. I walked around the neighborhood after dinner, but it was too dark to take photos then. BTW, it didn't get completely dark until 10.30 PM! I plan to go out tomorrow to take photos of the neighborhood, scope out the route to school, and see Retiro Park. Retiro Park was once a wilderness preserve and royal retreat, so it is to Madrid as Central Park is to New York or Bosque Chapultepec is to Mexico City.

I have discovered just how much energy it takes to concentrate on what people are saying so that I can understand them. I am blessed with a good accent, so people can understand me easily when I speak Spanish, but that leads my listener to assume that I'm gonna understand him/her when s/he talks back! Not always the case at present. I'm confident, however, that if I maintain throughout my trip the level of interaction that I've had today, I'll have made a big improvement in my skills!

For now, I'm off to dream-land! Er, I mean... el país de los sueños. :J

Four Dollars

Ugh. I saw this horrid sight for the first time in my life, but probably not the last.

It's kinda funny -- last week, a classmate and I were fussing about fuel prices when I speculated, "I'd be that diesel will be up to four dollars per gallon by Labor Day (beginning of September), maybe even Memorial Day (end of May)." Or... tomorrow! This followed a fifty-cent rise in the price of diesel over a two week period. Ugh. :J

Get Out, already!

Wow... nothing for nearly two months and now two posts in one day! What's next, parity of the dollar with the euro?

I'm Founding President of OutLaw, an organization of students at Elon University School of Law who are interested in legal issues affecting the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community. OutLaw is open to all Elon Law students.

On Wendesday of this week, OutLaw hosted its inaugural programming event, the Out Lawyer Forum. Three local attorneys came to the law school and spoke to about two dozen students, faculty, and staff about practicing law as an openly-gay or -lesbian lawyer in Greensboro. Panelists included Ron Johnson (partner in the law firm of Johnson, Peddrick, and McDonald who has practiced in Greensboro since 1974 and is a Board Certified Specialist in estate planning and probate law), Rebecca Perry (who has practiced family law as a solo practitioner in Greensboro since 2002, is a Board Certified Specialist in family law, and is an active member of the State Bars of North Carolina and Texas), and Andrew Spainhour (who worked as a lobbyist's assistant in Washington DC before turning down job offers in New York to become corporate counsel of Replacements Ltd). Law school Dean Leary Davis and his guest, David Campbell, a scholar of the role that diversity plays in leadership, welcomed the panelists and audience as the program began.

All in all, the program was a great success. Read all about it!

http://www.elon.edu/e-web/academics/law/outlaw_forum_3_08.xhtml

:J

My Day in Court

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Everyone has their day in court for one reason or another and yesterday was mine. I emptied my pockets and walked through the metal detector and into the court house. I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and checked with the prosecutor's office to find out where I should go. Down two floors and into the packed criminal court room. A second-year classmate interning with the prosecutor's office saw me come in; her mouth flew open and she grabbed the docket sheet to see where my name was on it. I found a seat and took it quietly, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.

I had had enough continuances and it was time to face the fact that I had to spend a day observing criminal court for my criminal law class. The prosecutor's office told me where I should go to see the most action. Luckily and to her relief, my classmate didn't find my name on the docket sheet. There were plenty of others, though! It took about twenty minutes just for docket call--reading all of the names from the list of cases to be heard. Probably one-third to one-half of the cases were continued to another day. Probably a fifth were dismissed and another third were deferred pending payment of restitution or completion of an alternative sentencing program. Several people plead guilty, so I saw the process that follows that. A few people were released after time served in the county jail since arrest and agreeing to pay court costs. It looked as if there would be two or three bench trials that afternoon, but I couldn't stick around that long. My accompanying classmate, Jon, and I left at lunch recess. It was, indeed, an interesting experience and one that excites me for what's to come this summer.

So... this summer. It looks like I'll be interning in the prosecutor's office in the county where my grandparents live during the second half of the summer! It's an unpaid position, but I look forward to soaking up some rich experiences in the courtroom and spending some quality time with my grandparents during my six weeks there. I came to law school with the thought of practicing estate planning; I never imagined that I'd go into criminal law and I'm still not committing myself to anything. However, my IT career put me nearly half-way through the thirty years of State service required to retire with full benefits, so the thought of going back into State service after law school, finishing my thirty years, and walking out the door with pension and health insurance at age 55 is very attractive. I wouldn't be limited to working as a prosecutor, either. Several (but not all) of NC's judicial districts have public defenders. All of NC's public universities have a University Counsel, and tons of attorneys work in the NC Department of Justice, as that department handles litigation for all state agencies. It's quite likely that a return to State service is in my future.

My internship is the second half of the summer. During the first half, I'm going to Europe to take UNCG's culture and conversation course in Madrid for a month and then spend a couple of weeks visiting friends in France and Italy. Of course, I'm looking forward to my trip to Europe, but I also can't wait to return to my internship!

For better or worse, Chris will be working in Maryland all summer. That'll be good because he'll be away from home himself, which might keep his mind off of the fact that I'm away, too. He'll also be able to spend time with and become better acquainted with some of our friends in that area and the area itself, which has always held some appeal for me. His being away could be bad because he might get bored living in a hotel room for months. But, we've survived his previous travels for work and it has real benefits, so we'll get through it this summer, too.

So, there's a nutshell update. There's no rest for the weary, as I have a 15-page Motion for Summary Judgment to crank out this weekend. For those not in the law, summary judgment is a decision about the case based on the facts as presented to the court in pre-trial documents; the facts are undisputed and so clear that a trial is not necessary. (It's the job of the jury in a jury trial or of the judge in a bench trial to decide the facts -- basically, who has the more compelling story or who's telling the truth.) The movant (party making the motion) is asking the court to rule as a matter of law; the only question to be resolved is how the law applies to the facts, which is always the job of the judge. Summary judgment is much quicker and much less expensive than a trial, so is often viewed as a preferred method of resolving cases. Woo-hoo!

So, I'm off to summary judgment land! Don't worry; I won't send a postcard. :J

Computer Blue

Note: I wrote this entry shortly before Christmas, but waited until now (a month later) to post it so that revealing the details of my computer SNAFU during exams wouldn't violate my school's honor code, which requires anonymity in exam grading. :J

Exams actually got off to a quite exciting start. As I rebooted my computer to take my very first law school exam, Windows flaked out on me and I had to hand-write my exam! For some unknown reason, Windows Vista had suddenly decided that my license was no longer valid and locked me out of most functionality, generously allowing me into my Web browser where I could buy a new license for $215. After four hours on the phone with Costco and HP, a crying fit, several nights of fitful sleep, and worrying at least an hour or two off of the end of my life, I was no closer to a solution. With a functional browser, I was able to send my crucial documents to myself in e-mail and download them onto a flash drive via my desktop computer, which allowed me to continue studying at home and in the lab at school. I borrowed a computer from school for my second exam. I finally faced reality and hit the virtual reset button, restoring my hard drive to its factory condition. I took my other exams on my own computer, but spent two full days reinstalling all of my software and readjusting my configurations.

Through all of this trauma, Costco (which offers limited support for computers that it sells and whose staff was great) and HP were very helpful. I got bubkes from Miscrosoft, though. Even HP got from Microsoft the same run-around as I and I never spoke to anyone at Miscrosoft whom I felt could have helped me with my problem, if they understood what it was. To add insult to injury, I would have had to pay $59 to speak to anyone beyond the guy that could only take my credit card information in exchange for a new license key.

All's well now, but I wonder... when it comes time for me to buy a new computer, will I join the ranks of the millions of Mac users and housekeeper that declare, "I don't do Windows?" :J

And That's Final!

Exams are over, at last, and my first semester of law school is history, but a relaxing winter break is hardly in the cards for me.

To celebrate the end of exams, Chris and I went to Asheville for the weekend, dined at one of the restaurants on Biltmore Estate (The Bistro), and took a candle-light tour of Biltmore House. The food was excellent and it was fun to see the House in its full holiday finery, but I had car trouble on the trip. My car, Diego, decided to help me to develop an appreciation for irony and chose one of the coldest days of the year, in Asheville, in the snow even, to fry his water pump and overheat. He is now convalescing at the mechanic's while I get a work-out on the bus.

Right after all the family visits and festivities, I'll be consumed with packing and moving, since my roommate bought a new house a few weeks ago and will close the deal just before New Year. My cat, Cilantro, displeased with my scarcity around the house since I entered law school, has taken to urinating in a few choice spots around our current house. He can't do that in the new house, so as part of the move, he's going to Virginia to live with Jeff. I'm sure that I'll enjoy the brief visit with Jeff and his family, but I'll for sure miss Cilantro's rich personality and his antics. (Yes, it was just over a year ago that my other cat, Curry, passed away of complications from diabetes.)

On the brighter side, Chris has kitted out his condo with a doggie bed, kennel, and bowls in anticipation of my dog, Pepper, spending more time there. The ability to bring Pepper with me to Chris' along with Cilantro's move will give me a lot more flexibility with regard to traveling with Pepper and staying in Greensboro without feeling guilty about leaving her behind and imposing on my roommate to look after her.

I'm keeping my spirits up during all of this with feeling good about exams (grades in February), thinking about how much worse some of these scenarios could have turned out, and looking forward to my trip to Spain this summer!

Let's wrap things up with a random thought... Is it any wonder that two-thirds of personal bankruptcies in the United States are because of medical bills? My grandpa had heart surgery to replace a valve a few months ago and the bills have started to roll in. The first one was an eye-popper. For two weeks of hospitalization, two days of which were in intensive care, the bill was $110,000. Where I live, that's a modest house! Yes, his insurance will pay much of that, but can you imagine his reaction if he didn't have insurance? I dare say that his heart surgery would have been for naught at that point.

¡Feliz Navidad y prospero año nuevo! :J

Black's Friday

If I were more conscientious, I'd probably write in my blog more often. Then again, since I'm in law school, if I were more conscientious, I might have put my blog on hiatus while classes were in session. As with most anything, both perspectives are equally valid and could be convincingly argued by a skilled orator (or oratrix). Classes ended yesterday, I handed in the last project for my skills classes today, and the two-week final exam period for my substantive law classes begins Monday!

I have learned much cool vocabulary in my first semester of law school, some of which I will endeavor to incorporate in a more or less puckish way into my daily patois, including the following.

vexatious delay:

Black's Law Dictionary (8th edition, 2004) defines this as "An insurance company's unjustifiable refusal to satisfy an insurance claim, esp. based on a mere suspicion but no hard facts that the claim is ill-founded." I define this as spiteful dawdling.

prolixity (n.):

Black's defines this as "The unnecessary and superfluous stating of facts and arguments in pleading or evidence." I define it as argumentative, redundant, and irrelevant. The adjective form is prolix, which sounds like a medication for sexual dysfunction or a mechanical aid for such a condition.

frolic:

Black's calls this an employee's significant deviation from the employer's business for personal reasons; a frolic is outside the scope of employment, and thus the employer is not vicariously liable for the employee's actions.

detour:

Blacks' says that this is an employee's minor deviation from the employer's business for personal reasons; because a detour falls within the scope of employment, the employer is still vicariously liable for the employee's actions.

frolic and detour:

going off-course to do something unrelated to the original errand

So, in an effort to avoid the vexatious delay of my studies, I shall avoid prolixity and defer any frolic and detour until after my exams conclude on 13 December. :J

Fall Break

Oh, merde! I forgot that I have a blog!

No, I didn't really forget, but sometimes it would seem that way. The truth is that a combination of school and what many bloggers suffer (call it burnout, block, or what have you) have conspired to both prevent me from writing and keep me unmotivated to write.

I will note that law school is going well. It is certainly challenging, but I feel that I have a hold on things. (We'll see if that feeling lasts past Thanksgiving or, for that matter, very far into November.) There is endless reading, but it's not like reading a novel or even reading a college textbook, it's like reading a refrigerator warranty, a credit card agreement, or a mortgage promissory note. It's dense, detailed, and, quite often, dull. To continue the alliteration, it requires a good dose of diligence, too. I often get a page or two into my nightly reading and begin to think about how dry it is and how much of it yet lies ahead. My mind drifts and suddenly it's two pages later and I can't recall a word from from those two pages, so I have to go back to what I do remember and pick it up there. Right on cue, my brain drifts at the same point as if triggered to do so by a particular word (no doubt a Latin word). I repeat the process, staying alert for the trigger word, and force myself past the blockade.

Not all of the reading is dull. Earlier this week, I knew that things were going to be interesting when a case began, "An unfortunate combination of gasoline, matches, and a seven-year-old boy resulted in the lawsuit which underlies this appeal." (Peterson v. Taylor, 316 NW 2d 869, Iowa 1982). Then there was the case that even my case book referred to as "The Nitroglycerin Case" (Parrot v. Wells-Fargo, 82 US 524, 21 L Ed 206, 1872). Ahh, if only all of life were as blazingly gratifying as torts class!

Fortunately, fall break gave me a reprieve from school earlier this week and I was able to enjoy a bit of life as I once knew it. Chris and I rented a cabin in Grayson County, Virginia, and spent a weekend on the side of a mountain, 20 miles from the nearest grocery store, in the middle of the pasture of a sanctuary farm for rescued animals. Rugby Creek Farm is home to horses, goats, dogs, cats, chickens, donkeys, and guinea hens that have been rescued from a variety of sad situations. Cabin rentals help to fund their full-time animal rescue operation, which recently achieved 501(c)3 non-profit status. We toured the farm and met all of the animals, enjoyed a short but scenic hike in Grayson Highlands State Park, and attended a molasses festival at the Mount Rogers Volunteer Fire Department and Rescue Squad. I also seized the opportunity to do something that I've not had the time to do since I've been in school -- I cooked! Bringing some ingredients from home and gathering more provisions from the Food City in Independence (where the local newspaper is called The Declaration), I made a pot of vegetarian chili on Saturday evening. See photos from the weekend in my Flickr.

We returned home on Sunday evening. I had grand plans to catch up and get ahead by reading supplements and getting my outlines in order, but so much stuff that I've put off during school (filing, laundry, software updates, etc) stood up and demanded attention and it was all that I could do on Tuesday evening to finish my reading for Wednesday. Ugh.

I'm already looking forward to the summer and how I'm going to fill my time without school. I'd like to get an internship in a law office or working for a judge for part of the summer, but I'm making plans to go to Madrid for another part of the summer to work on my language skills. I've applied to UNCG's program in Madrid (which focuses on language and culture) and am looking at William and Mary's program (which focuses on European law).

For now, I'm paddling along until Christmas, by which time I'll be looking festive with my red eyes and green complexion. :J

I Heart Papaw

Papaw's surgery went well on Friday. The doctor did replace one of his valves, but decided against also performing a bypass; this, after removing the vein from his leg and cleaning it in preparation for attaching it around a partial blockage of one of his cardiac arteries. That decision gave me pause -- I mean, the doctor's already in there and at Papaw's age, it's not like the doctor will likely ever go back in there! I learned, however, that doing the bypass carries with it the risk of dislodging calcium deposits in the artery that could travel and lodge themselves elsewhere and potentially block the flow of blood to a crucial area. This combined with the fact that other arteries had taken on some of the job of the partially-blocked artery tipped the risk-benefit analysis against doing the bypass.

I visited Papaw in the hospital on Sunday and found that he continues to recover quickly. He was predictably feeble and a bit foggy because of his pain medication, but considering that he'll soon be 84 years old and had just had this chest sawed open two days before, he's doing darn well! I'm very thankful for that, because I heart my Papaw! :J